Films I am dreading in 2018: Feb – May

Hello and welcome to the first of my film related posts! Today I want to do something a little different and talk about films I am dreading in 2018. After I started writing this list I realised that I would cross 10,000 words if I did the whole year, so I am breaking it up a little, so expect the next post in this series to come along next month.

Ever watch a trailer and wonder why it got made? The sudden urge to dread it’s release because you might get dragged to it, or maybe it is a remake and you want your film to stay in it’s best purest form? We always see the lofs for the films we are excited for, but what about those poor films that you know people are dreading? I thought it was best to provide a little summary of some of the films I am dreading this year. Shall we?

I am dreading more films than this, but I wanted to highlight some for a specific reason. Some are because they look next level horrendous and some are for what it means for that actor if the film performs poorly. There is a range as to why you dread a film coming out and it is only fair that I state that I do not think that many of these in this series will be in a worst of 2018 list by the end of the year. Well maybe except for the first one… It will be there.

February

Fifty Shades Freed

Let’s get things straight first and foremost. I have never read or watched a single thing past a clip or trailer of this series, but I can’t see anything redeemable in these.

The main reason that this in my dread list is because I used to work in a multiplex cinema and I was there working the first night of Fifty Shades of Grey and I encountered the “people” who attend these films and goodness, the good employees in a cinema do not deserve to see and hear the things they do when these creatures come in. As an example, I chose to seat the very first showing and a drunken woman run down the corridor and I helpfully directed her to her seat for her to shout to her friends of her disappointment that there was no dildo on the seats… Plus one of my staff at the time was promptly dry humped in the foyer for seemingly existing. Those are just two examples…

So yes, slightly personal and I am dreading it for personal reasons, but also, it looks fairly rubbish right?

Father Figures

Everyone in this film deserves better than to be involved in this film, except for Ed Helms, because this should be his wheelhouse for the rest of his career after he peaked in a Mumford and Son’s music video. Maybe I just don’t forgive him for trying to ruin The Office, maybe I am a bitter person, or maybe I am right and you know I am right.

The fact that this film finished production before Donald Trump got nominated for the Republican candidacy, then you know this film has had its issues, which is why it probably finds itself in the dreaded February position on the same weekend as Lady Bird. It is a hard sell.

March

God’s Not Dead 3

I didn’t even know there was a sequel to the comedy classic that was God’s Not Dead. I know there is a niche market for these type of films (maybe not here in the UK) but I can’t fathom as to why there is.

Ready Player One

Or known as it’s other title as CGI: The Movie.

Bringing all these characters in such a creative way works very well on paper (literally) but even with the trailer, this just comes across as a film that speaks to the Vine generation, whose attention span lasts as long as the next recognisable character/setting/object. Sadly I can only imagine most people sitting there scouring the screen for a character or something they like as they forget the actual storyline and then get filled with disappointment when that characters 1.5 seconds on screen is gone as quickly as it came.

Probably better as a mini-series, so a little time could be spent with these characters, but ah well. Go read the book instead, it would be more worth your time.

Red Sparrow

Let’s be honest here, I like Jennifer Lawrence, but she hasn’t has been stuck in the franchise world for a bit too long in her relatively short career and sadly her last two excursions out of that world have not paid off as well critically or as well at the box office as they needed to. Though in Mother!’s case despite Javier Bardem being a terrific actor, he hasn’t exactly burst through as that leading man as hoped. The issues with Mother! are almost entirely down to Paramount misleading the audience as to what they were paying for. It was not the haunted house picture that was sold. Which appears to be a tactic that studios now use on their audiences and presently, audiences are not keen on experiencing this trick played on them too often. They want to know enough about a film and not go in overly blind anymore. Which is sad truthfully.

But yes, this needs this to do well and it could very well as it is released in a fairly safe slot with little competition here in the UK at the beginning of the month. I hope it does well, but I am dreading the potential backlash on Lawrence if it doesn’t as you know the idiots will come calling, blaming her ‘waning star power’ even though she is not even 10 years into her on-screen career. Moving the release out of the Oscar season also worries me a tad, as although this year’s Best Actress category is stacked to high heaven, if Red Sparrow is in anyway decent, then a nomination would have been a certainty, but hopefully I am wrong and this is a knockout post Oscars to kick us into the Spring.

April

Death Wish

*Sigh* The bloody state of this. None of this makes sense and especially so in this day and age. Nothing about this film is redeemable. The worst thing is, I know people will flock to this supposed film. Though I have to wonder why as we literally saw everything in the trailer. I mean the last scene in the trailer could very well be the ending of the film as it tries to set up for the sequel… I am not alone in thinking this, am I? I hope not, as then that means I wasted too much of my time thinking about a horrible film that I have zero desire to see ever.

Some films need to be remade or reimagined, this wasn’t one of them and then not altered in the way it has been. Play it straight and it could potentially be great. If you go the humour route it stops the severity of the original murders and point of the film from the audience and thus you lose them.

Truth or Dare

I am a self-confessed horror movie fan, I love them and I love everything about them, which usually means that I am more lenient on films from this genre as some can be bad, but have solid to great moments.

Sadly Truth or Dare falls into the category of “you couldn’t pay me to watch it”. This is mostly because I try to avoid spoilers when it comes to horror trailers and for the most part, the 1st trailer just brings the intrigue about the story and tries not to provide any deaths or final scene clips. Otherwise, you will already know who is going to die and more specifically WHEN they are going to die. Ignorant studios need to stop this little trend with horror films that involve groups getting in trouble as I want to guess and be surprised at who is next and if your first trailer breaks everything down point for point, then why do I need to see your film? I can just assume that the hero/heroine survives.

Truth or Dare has that Final Destination feel, with these young individuals dying off one by one. Though there must be some hope for this as April has been seen as the hopeful dumping ground of films that studios do not want to risk at Halloween. Evil Dead (2013) Unfriended (2015) have done modestly well in comparison to their budgets and with the Blumhouse Productions being involved you can guarantee that the budget will be low, so the margins high. Which makes this all the sadder, this looks dull and with the lean year in the first few months for horror. Quite disappointing.

May

Solo: Han Solo Story

I haven’t quite read and heard so many stories of a film having as many production issues as this one. From the directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller leaving mid-production, to many reports that LucasFilm are very displeased with Alden Ehrenreich’s performance to the point that an acting coach had been hired for him. Now these reports are a little pinch of salt, seeing how good Alden was in the Coen Brothers I, Caesar. But nonetheless, this is all alarming especially for a Disney film that usually lets out zero information from the set and even then the most we ever got was when Edgar Wright left Ant-Man.

Why Katherine Kennedy hired two directors who are known for heavily collaborating with actors and production team on set is baffling. If they wanted a team who would stick to the script then they had one arm tied behind their back from the start. Also an unusual step in replacing the editor mid-film occurred here as well, giving very limited time for the new editor to get the shots required. This is a few steps away from becoming an Alien 3 level style mess up and the main positive out of that production (other than letting David Fincher get a first feature film) was the making of documentary.

Three months behind schedule, internal infighting, this is all becoming a bit of a nightmare for Disney and very much not what they would want the world to see. This leads to the belief that we should be worried about this film. It isn’t exactly the film many fans were clamouring for as it meant seeing someone else play Han Solo, at least with a potential Obi-Wan film. We have a readily made actor in Ewan McGregor as he had grown into the role in the Prequels, and at least with the prequels, it was telling an overall story and not just a potential one shot one.

The overriding reason for my dread in this film is the potential it has if it fails. Have Disney or LucasFilm for that matter had a badly performing franchise film before? If it performs poorly, with that effect episode IX? Lot’s of questions and as of yet barely any promotion of the film and it is 4 months away. This isn’t a sneaky Cloverfield film. Time to be worried? Most definitely.

Slender Man

Your overly edited and “fancy” style are not going to trick me into seeing this mess. Nice try. Although I am sure that this film was bought and in pre-production before the murders from the 12-year-old girls who said ‘Slender Man told them too do it’ This will leave a bad taste in the mouth when the main characters in the film are young girls. Not clever thinking on this one sadly.

Just to note, during the writing of this post the film has now been moved to August 2018, which says enough for me about it’s prospects

If you enjoyed this post let me know and I can make it a little series! If you want to chat more about any of my posts, please follow me on Twitter, Instagram and also to receive updates, Until next time, thanks for reading and I hope to see you again soon!