Oh, well this isn’t going to be the easiest post to write about… I had all these lofty aims at the beginning of 2019, from fitness to the blog, but most importantly my weight loss. I had aimed to be at my desired goal at this point, but it didn’t happen. Here’s the story.
Gaining and plateauing
For the most part, I was in the mindset to lose weight. I wanted to, I really wanted to, but for some reason, it wasn’t shifting, just staying there and no matter what walking or workouts I would do, it wouldn’t shift. I had to work out what was going on as I was trying Veganuary and I think I replaced normal treats with vegan ones and I was being a tad too dependent on carbs, so pasta and rice were a bit too friendly to me.
I was disappointed and really frustrated by how things were going as January was the kick-off for something big for me. Then when I would get upset about not losing weight, I would eat and do less exercise and thus, gain weight. Seeing the scales go further up was so annoying and even worse, my clothes were beginning to become too tight and chinos were ripping and I was running out of old clothes to wear. So the January sales were instead of buying smaller sizes, I was having to go bigger, but not before I tricked my brain into thinking I could still fit into the same sizes. Then I would get annoyed about not fitting into those clothes. I was hurting and then the vicious cycles would begin for the next few months.
New York was to be the aim
Victoria and I had planned a great holiday to New York and Toronto in March and so that would have been the perfect time to lose a good amount of weight, almost like a checkmark. Drop a tonne of weight and look great for the holiday… Didn’t quite turn out that way sadly, as I am almost certain that over that time period I actually gained weight over February. It was meant to be that kick that I needed and somehow I just never got going, whether it be with my diet or my fitness.
Then a few days before we are due to go, two pairs of chinos ripped and were practically unwearable. This meant having to buy some chinos to hope I could fit into, but they just didn’t and I was so down about it. Knowing you have failed to such an extent is the worst feeling. In my head, I had one job and it was to fit into the size below before the holiday. To go to New York far better than I was, and I didn’t I was going backwards with what felt like no brake in stopping the motion. I was starting to get a bit lost in it all and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to talk about it so I mostly dodged the conversation about it with Victoria. Which isn’t the wisest move if we are honest. Always share.
Best friends wedding was to make it happen
The year plan was meant to be, lose 2 stone by March and then another stone and a half at the least before May as that was the date of my best friend Madi’s wedding and we were going over to England to it and Victoria was going to meet here for the first time there too. It was a big thing and I really wanted to look my best for it or look as good as I could in my current state.
Knowing that I had already failed at my first target in March I could at least focus and get to that target for May. The weather is improving and I can at least not look totally terrible. But again, no, I didn’t, I was firmly stuck in the 290s… Yes, the 290s. I would drop down to 285 or so and then slowly go back up again after a few good days. So frustrating as I thought I was trying and even at that weight I should be able to get it down just by walking right? Or that was the idea at the very least.
Where was it going wrong? Well I was barely running and the gym was almost a non-existant endeavour and the diet, I thought at least was under some form of control. The only positive in all of this was that I wasn’t gaining anymore. I was keeping it in the 280’s and wasn’t crossing back into the 290s. A minor victory but a victory all the same.
Summer was meant to cause it to happen
March was a bust. May was a bust. Surely the entire summer will help get me going and have those numbers start to go down, right? Nope. Another period of nothing but being in a rut. I was happy that I still wasn’t gaining weight, but I just wasn’t shifting the weight and I was walking in and from work almost every day which is around 6 miles. I was trying. But, I feel that I had gotten caught up in enjoying sugar too much and daily visits to shops to get treats when in work were costing me dearly and stopping any good work the walking was doing.
Something had to give, just what?
Sober (walking) October kicked it off
In October Victoria’s brother and I decided to challenge each other in who could walk the most in the month of October. We both have a little weight to drop and thought it would be good fun. Sadly it seems we are both very competitive and it became a monster of a month. In the end, I walked over 900,000 steps in that month. This meant I had next to no time to myself and I was almost constantly on the move. It was both great and horrible at the same time. I literally had no life.
But, something great happened. I stopped my constant need to want treats. Due to being on my feet constantly, I had no time to be sitting and thinking about snacking and thus, actually snacking. I was up and about every day, during lunch. As much as possible, little paces at my desk I was non stop and I started not even wanting a treat while in work. Something that had been the case for maybe since the time I left Odeon 3 or so years ago.
As the month went on, my fitness improved, but so did my moods and most importantly the weight starts to slowly go down. By months end I was back down to the weight I was a year previous. It was still a way too big a weight, but it was a good start and being down into the low 270’s was a good thing. I had one aim, stay in the ’70s over Christmas. I knew I needed to rest the first week after the challenge as I was simply buggered as I was putting in 40,000 – 50,000 days to gain on Simon and Christmas is never a good month for weight loss. Getting into as good a position as possible for 2020 was now the aim. I had a target and I now had confidence and belief that maybe I could do this.
I will talk next week about what I did in December, but it was important to get this out, it feels truncated to me, but hopefully not too fast or boring for you. I have a long way to go, but 2019 did not end up the loss I thought it was going to be. It may have taken about 10 months to get there, but I am finally in a better mindset. Bring it 2020. Until next time.